She reappears!

Seriously, it's been a while. I can't believe that I posted a blog post-termination in July and haven't posted since. Hell, I really haven't communicated since.

To those of you that were confused, I apologize. I've been known to take a couple or few days and hibernate away from other humans for a period of time to "regroup", but it's never been known to last so long. The funny thing is that, once I started thinking about it, I realized that I've been off work for six weeks at most since I was sixteen, and that was when I moved to this city to go to school and my car was broken down.

Over ten years with no more than six weeks off between jobs, the average being about two weeks between places. Man.

So . . . I started thinking maybe I was due a vacation, and with the thought that I was due a vacation, well . . . I took it a bit overboard and truly ended up curled on the couch for weeks on end.

I seem to be coming more awake now. =)

I'm taking small steps and I'm getting better at answering phone calls and answering messages.

For a work update . . .

I'm trying to find an organization I can truly get behind and a place that I WANT to devote my time to. It will take some time, and if time runs out I'll have to grab whatever is available, but for now I'm trying to choose carefully. I'm tired of grinding myself down for places that don't appreciate me and don't offer any personal fulfillment, either. Meanwhile, I've got some great references and an awesome reference letter from ex-dude at my old office.

Anyhoo . . . hello again!

You know how stuff just sucks sometimes?

Sure you do! I'm feeling it today. I suppose the one good thing is that yesterday, when I went to work, I thought to myself, "Damn, I wish the weekend wasn't over!"

Be careful what you wish for, kiddies!

I was dumb as hell, doing my job as normal and having no idea what was going on. Then, about 2:30 in the afternoon, I got asked to join M in the conference room. I figured it was another meeting and wrapped up what I was doing, then went on in.

Well . . . turns out that after all their planning meetings last week, they have decided that the best course of action is to dissolve my position. That's right - dissolve my position. Just add water and watch it go "poof".

The man who never made any sales calls on time is now going to be in charge of all sales. They're not doing any marketing whatsoever for the rest of the year. Therefore, sales and marketing manager (or whatever the hell I was)? Pah - not needed! Position dissolved.

I got this information at 2:30 in the afternoon. They asked if I had any questions. I told them I didn't think so, and thanked them for the experience. Then, very unlike those two gentlemen, I didn't even get a handshake as we all stood around the table. Not even a handshake.

By 4:30 yesterday afternoon, my desk was cleared, I said goodbye to my pretty, pretty computer, and I walked out the door.

Well, all THAT stuff's the negative. Now for the positive.

- I got out while the gettin's good. If they're not planning on marketing at all, that place is about to go down like the Titanic. This one ain't on board. As a matter of fact, I got two weeks' severance plus my unused vacation time. That's a helluva lot more than people will get if they have to close their doors.
- I was getting restless anyway.
- I'm so damn loyal I may not have left if they didn't fire me . . .

So there are plenty of reasons here why this is a positive issue - but yes, I'll be locking myself in a hole for a bit. And if I'm not online (at least until we can get connected at home so I can job search in my underwear), this is why.

Wooooooot! Kinda.

Song of Patience

For a lovely instant I thought she would grow mad
and end the reason's fever.
But in her hand she held Christ's splinter,
so I could only laugh and press a warm coin
across her seasoned breasts:
but I remembered clearly then your insane letters
and how you wove initials in my throat.

My friends warn me
that you have read the ocean's old skeleton;
they say you stitch the water sounds
in different mouths, in other monuments.
"Journey with a silver bullet," they caution.
"Conceal a stake inside your pocket."
And I must smile as they misconstrue your insane letters
and my embroidered throat.

O I will tell him to love you carefully;
to honour you with shells and coloured bottles;
to keep from your face the falling sand
and from your human arm the time-charred beetle;
to teach you new stories about lightning
and to let you run sometimes barefoot on the shore.
And when the needle grins bloodlessly in his cheek
he will come to know how beautiful it is
to be loved by a madwoman.

And I do not gladly wait the years
for the ocean to discover and rust your face
as it has all of history's beacons
that have turned their gold and stone to water's onslaught,
for then your letters too rot with ocean's logic
and my fingernails are long enough
to tear the stitches from my throat.

~Leonard Cohen

Wake up, People!

What are you going to do with your economic stimulus check?

Buy a tank of gas? Maybe buy some groceries?

There are 256 days left until Bush is out of office. 256 long more days. The reason that the citizens of the U.S.ofA. voted him in a second time (technically only the first time since he wasn't the winner of the first election) escapes me. I'm not sure if everyone thought that he deserved a "do-over", but it was a serious mistake. Look at where we are now. For that matter, the people who still drive around with "W 2004" or "W" stickers on their vehicles leave me perplexed. I want to shake them and ask if they're blind, deaf, or dumb. I want them to wake up and realize the way things are. And Gods help us all if we somehow vote in mini-Bush-wanna-be.

Unfortunately, those that drive the SUVs with "W" on their back windshields aren't GOING to wake up. When things are comfy and cozy for a person, he or she usually does not venture outside their own bubble long enough to realize that just because things are going well for them, things aren't going well for the majority of people. As long as they're able to afford to buy, fill up, and continue driving larger vehicles to their favorite expensive restaurant, only before stopping to buy more meaningless crap for their $350,000 houses, they will never understand that most of us are suffering as a result of today's carelessness and self-centeredness.

Do you all realize that in every war in the history of the USofA, there has always been a sacrifice on the part of the US citizens? Remember war bonds? Remember the energy crisis in the 70s and gas coupons? Do you realize what all those were for? The government asked the citizens of this country to make sacrifices - just for a little while - so that we wouldn't end up with a bazillion-dollar-debt like we've got today. It's amazing how much the little things have helped us in times of upheaval and uncertainty, yet the president's too goddamn stupid to ask for sacrifice, and US citizens are too goddamn lazy and spoiled to give their time or the resources that will soon run out in the grand scheme of things.

They've even mentioning suspending the gas tax for the duration of the summer to give us all a little relief. Do all of you realize that it will make our lives a teeny bit comfortable in the short-term, it's an ignorant choice in the long run? All we'll do is give the country an even deeper deficit as if we're not in one large enough to begin with. All we'll do is have to pay for it later – whether it be losing education in schools because they've lost federal funding or if it be our soldiers fighting, ill-equipped, in this pointless fucking war, because they've cut the wrong PART of the defense budget while simultaneously raising the wrong part of the defense budget.

We are shooting ourselves in the foot, people.

We want more and more and more and more when, in actuality, less and less is available to us. And we don't want to pay for a damn thing. We want nicer roads and parks, but don't want to pay the state taxes required to pay for the stuff. We want better schools but don't want federal taxes raised. Now don't think me brash – we're all in a shitty economic condition right now and none of us can really afford to have any more money taken from our paychecks, but there has got to be a BETTER WAY for us to manage our incomes, time, and needs. It's a very basic principle – nothing in life is free, and you get what you pay for.

There's also got to be a better compensation system. We've got to make sure that the economic gap between the rich and poor stops widening. I don't know how . . . I have no clue . . . but we've got to find a better way.

So are you walking around, going day to day, complaining about gas prices but not really being introspective as to what's actually happening around you? If so, here is your wake-up call.

Personally? I'm ready for CHANGE.

Safe Haven for Fat-Assed Cat Found!

And the best possible outcome has happened. \

Jose has talked to Aaron and they’ve agreed to keep BabyGirl. This is the best possible outcome because Jose and I adopted BabyGirl together (with Jack, and my god, I still miss that cat so much). BabyGirl knows him, familiar with him, he’s familiar with her, they’re both familiar with Aaron (rofl) . . .

And Josh would like us to keep her until we actually physically move anyway, since moving her before would just be entirely pointless and way too traumatic for both of us (me and the cat).

Yay. =) Thanks for all your positive thoughts and those of you who sought out a solution. I really appreciate it.

Now I get to spend some more time with my fatty bumbling around my feet and greeting me outside the bedroom door in the morning with her squeaks. =)

Seeking Safe Home for Fat-Assed Cat

Hey, everyone.

So after a rather emotional discussion with Josh yesterday, or at least a talk where he talked and I cried, it’s pretty much been decided that I need to get rid of BabyGirl.

Josh’s allergies are just too much to have her around anymore, and now that he’s at least making the ATTEMPT to take care of himself, I’ll uphold my end of the deal and give her a new home . . .

But here’s the catch . . .

I do NOT want to surrender her to a shelter. This cat has had over five owners in her life, four before she was aged three, and has known me for the last five or six years.

I’ll be glad to hand her over to someone I know so that I can at least see her. And I’ll be glad to take her back if ever the situation warrented that and someone wasn’t able to keep her . . . I hate it that she’s going to lose the one bit of stability she’s had, and I hate that she can’t even voice her opinion about being given away . . .

So . . . please help me out.

If you, or if anyone else you know, is in search of a pet, she’s fantastic. She weighs 13 pounds, looks fat as hell, but she’s really fluffy when you get down to it. She does well with other cats, but when she’s a solitary house-cat, she really shines. She’s got an awesome personality. Lap cat. Very friendly and loving. And cuuuuuute. I don’t know how she is with kids since I never had any . . . she’s also about 9-10 years old, been fixed - she’s very mellow unless she’s in the mood to play.

Please let me know if any of you would like to get this extremely healthy, loving, and amazing girl - or if you know someone that would and can give her a good, stable home.

Impressions

I must come across as a hugely bi-polar individual and / or a raging lunatic. Well the truth is that . . . .

well, yeah, that's probably the truth, come to think of it.

Cheerio!