THIS . . . is what I know.

A week ago today, the world lost an incredible woman.

I’m a strong believer that each of us, no matter how much we despised the school years we were forced to participate in, have had one teacher that inspired us in ways we otherwise would have not been be reached. Even I, “Miss S, who believes she is already grown,” as Mrs. Holmes readily (and honestly) referred to me one day, learned many lessons from this extraordinary educator.

Mrs. Holmes taught me that . . .

• Once you have raised your voice, you have lost the argument.
• And the greatest of these is Love.
• Do not use “so” as a qualifier.
• Family is golden, as are friends, as is honesty.
• Nothing is “basic” – nor should your language be written as such.
• Everyone’s working definitions of words are different – help one another define these working definitions and often common ground, or the ground to disagree at least, would have been found.
• Frasier is hilarious.
• While Mrs. Holmes did not have the physical capability to *actually* hold you kicking and screaming
  over the flames of hell, she could still convince you she would.
• Everyone is worthy; but don’t go looking into other peoples’ cars when you’re driving in downtown Nashville because you never know who has a gun.
• You must be in senior level English before being allowed to begin a sentence with the word “however”.
• Always prepare yourself for your meeting; thoroughly read the materials used for topic of
  discussion and make preparatory notes.
• Even ladies of great grace and patience cannot help but giggle at you when you refer to the Bible as
  “the Great Novel” in the middle of class.

I’m heartbroken when I think about all the students of SHS that will never know her amazing inspiration. I’m more heartbroken as I realize that my own children will not have the chance to meet her, much less the chance to get to know her. I do, however, have faith that those of us who did receive her life lessons will go on to share as many of those with others as we possibly can – after all, sharing those gifts with others is the only way future generations will be blessed by her light.

25 (More) Reasons for You to Question My Sanity

Rules:

Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25
people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.

(To do this, go to “notes” under tabs on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, type your 25 random things, tag
25 people (in the right hand corner of the app) then click publish.)

1. I’ve just started wearing earrings again after about 10 or 12 years of only wearing them on special occasions.

2. I haven’t dyed my hair since 2004. And I love my silver-greys. Sincerely.

3. My resume competed with roughly 500 others to get me my new job – and won. (With a little help from my sparkling personality and interview skills.)

4. In the last six months, I’ve been thinking a lot about two people who were very dear to me a long, long time ago – both of them that I hurt pretty badly – both of them I feel very badly about.

5. I never thought *this* would happen.

6. As of the 17th of February, I will have been married for five full years.

7. I miss swimming in the creek, jumping hay bales, writing a news story, competing in the High School Speech and Drama League, driving everywhere in my 1991 Buick Skylark, and the promise of a wide-open future.

8. I watch more tv than one would think humanly possible, all thanks to the DVR. DVR – it will change your life. For instance, it means that:

9. My biggest exercise routine consists of lifting and replacing the remote.

10. I’m a spectacularly good shot. The first time I handled a pistol and shotgun, I got an amazing pattern on my targets. I find shooting relaxing and would love to join a shooting range.

11. I am a female who truly is *not* all that interested in owning 50 pairs of shoes (or more). I’m not interested in shopping, either, for that matter.

12. I worked full-time my entire way through college and have absolutely no sympathy for those who quit.

13. I usually brush my teeth in the shower.

14. I wanted to be a DJ from the time I was 12 years old – so much so, in fact, that I was licensed for broadcasting by the FCC by age 14.

15. Want someone to butcher a joke for you? I’m your gal.

16. When I was a small child, all my best friends were over the age of 65. I made one friend my age at 9 but was forbidden to see her. I didn’t make another friend my own age until I was 12.

17. I like to keep a coffee stirrer in my cup of coffee or cocoa so that I can stir it, cool it down, and play with it whenever I’m bored.

18. I am a grammar, punctuation, and spelling Nazi. You should know that if I correct you on a grammar rule, I’ve already looked up the proper usage and would not try and correct you otherwise. It’s one of the two areas in which I’m actually anal – the other being that if I’m not ten minutes early for a meeting / appointment, I feel late.

19. I hate Mexican food. I hate spicy food more.

20. When I was 13, I worked on my elementary / middle school newspaper. When I was 15 I worked on the high school newspaper. When I was 16-17, I worked on the high school newspaper AND produced our small-town community newspaper. When I turned 18, I got lazy and said “Screw this, I have plenty of time to run myself ragged with newspapers in college.” After I entered college, I never touched a newspaper again. And I miss it.

21. Cold weather is my arch nemesis. I define cold weather as anything below 60 degrees. I’m most comfortable when it’s between 75 and 95 degrees outside.

22. Sometimes I miss the “easy” work I used to do – when I could put on six-inch heels and flirt my way to $250 or more (once $1200!) in one night. Then I remember that it was, by no stretch of the imagination, EASY work – it was, in fact, the hardest job I’ve ever done.

23. I don’t like bananas at all – they make my stomach hurt. I do, however, love banana-flavored Laffy Taffy.

24. My fingernails naturally look French-tipped.

25. Sometimes I still count random things – my steps, pencils in a jar, files in a folder. I blame The Count on Sesame Street.

Woo-freakin'-hoo!

Ladies and gents, it could not have come at a more appropriate time.

I had curled up in the bed and been catnapping for about 45 minutes after reveling in the miracle of a capable man being inaugurated into the White House when I got a phone call . . .

I got a job here in town. Yaaaay for no freakin' commute! My pay will only be about 65% of what it was before I got laid off, but it looks like that's just out of my hands with the economy the way it is. At least I'm employed . . . and just in the nick of time, too. My unemployment runs out NEXT WEEK.

I'll be a Customer Service Rep for an engineering firm. I'll be dealing with customer complaints and getting them resolved as well as other administrative duties within the organization. They work rather odd hours since they're an engineering firm (7-5 M-Th and 7-11 on Fri) and the boss still isn't sure EXACTLY what my position will look like (that's ok, been there before!). "We'll play it by ear," he said.

I do know that they have benefits though I don't know at this point what or how much or even if they pay for them. I should find out in the next day or two when I receive an info packet in the mail to have filled out when I start at 8 a.m. Monday.

Wish me luck, guys!

I have news!

You might want to sit down for this one. Some of you have already found out in dealing with me during about the last month and a half, but I wanted to keep this a secret until things were more sure.

We would have never expected it in about a thousand years, but . . . I'm pregnant. =)

As of Sunday(ish), I'll be 12 weeks along. My due date is (gasp!) August 7th. I'm a glutton for punishment to be most pregnant during the hottest months of the year, yeah?

J and I are thrilled. He's wanted kids for a long time, I just haven't been ready. To tell you the truth, I'm not sure I'm ready now, but I think that may be a good thing. I'm sure over-confidence can't be great in parenting.

The first few weeks after I found out, I was terribly sick, and couldn't go much of anywhere. J took very good care of me - ran the errands, did the mundane, cooked for me whenever I *thought* I could eat. Thankfully I'm pulling out of that, and with vitamins, right diet, and anti-nausea medicine, I'm managing my symptoms much better.

At this point I'm sleeping ALL the time. And I'm enjoying it. =)

Well there you go . . . I suppose that's all I'll write for now so that you can have a chance to get over the shock value. HA!

8 a.m. on a Saturday

It's Saturday. It's 8 a.m.

I've been awake for about an hour and a half now. J woke me up when he went to bed after playing WoW all night. God, I still hate that fucking game. I hate it. I hate the money it costs, the time it takes, the obsession it fosters. He's not as bad about it as he used to be, but since the expansion came out last week, he's not been to bed until the sun comes up. I hope he gets tired of it soon.

I hope he can get a job soon, too. Crazy thing happened yesterday. He's been talking with 5 Guys Burgers for the last three weeks; he started going just as the GM had to have surgery (I think surgery), so he called almost every day to keep in touch with the manager who told him that he'd be put on the schedule as soon as the GM came back and was able to meet him. Yesterday he showed up, the first day since then that both manager and GM have been in together, as the manager had asked him to do. The GM told him that he recognizes J - had set up an interview for him already - and that J didn't show up, so he's not going to give him the job.

Three weeks he's thought he's had a job because this guy's been jerking him around. Cleans up, goes out, shows up yesterday, and doesn't get the job because the GM is hallucinating.

:: sigh ::

I really hope I ace the interview I have on Tuesday with an apartment complex here in town. That would be a sweet position, wouldn't it? Fifteen minute commute (if they don't want you to stay in their apartment complex), property management position, still get to meet and talk with people, get the responsibility of the complex . . . oh, that would be fantastic. Something tells me it's a bit farther out of reach than I'd like it to be - that they'll want someone with more experience to fill the position. I'm hoping to convince them that my sunny, youthful attitude is the way to go.

Did anyone just spit out their coffee as I said, "sunny, youthful attitude"? Yes? Good.

That, however, is precisely how I'm going to approach it - with letter of recommendation, references, reference list, and filled-out application in hand. Now I've just got to figure out what to wear.

I'm still not back down to size 8, so I can't wear the majority of the business suits I have. Bother. The good news is, however, that I've lost a good deal of my fluff and I'm ready to tackle the more serious flab that just likes to hang around. I'm actually surprised that I'm still keeping the weight off because I haven't worked out since the day before Halloween . . . I feel terrible for that because I think I only have a month left of the rec center membership (after which I'll obviously not be able to renew) and I haven't taken advantage of it for the last three weeks. It's starting to affect my self esteem a bit because I was doing exceptionally well with going every two, three days tops. I could reflect on things and say, "I don't have a job, but I'm keeping THIS going."

I've also still not stepped foot in the weight room. I told myself when I started working out there that I'd stay on cardio for a month or so, get healthier, then move on to the weights . . . unfortunately, even with the weight I've lost and the stamina I've gained, my heart rate spikes to the red zone within five minutes of stepping on an elliptical. It's kind of scary, actually.

Long story short, I need to get back into the habit of going again like I was. I suppose a good way to start is just to take a walk into the weight room and start seeing how stuff works . . .

Fatty McFatFat is behind me sleeping a very deep sleep. She's been rather disgusting all morning - dreaming, twitching, and emitting long, audible sighs. It's what she does, though. If she weren't so damn cute I wouldn't love her so much. Everyone gets a trip out of her when they come over. The obvious response is, "ah, Garfield!". She loves the attention. And food.

Speaking of food, I made a scrumptious chicken pot pie from scratch last night. As soon as I remembered that I actually *do* know how to make a pie crust, I've been making killer ones. The one last night was flaky and buttery - and because it's my favorite part on a pot pie, I made the top a bit thicker than the bottom crust. It was fantastic. It's the first time I've made a pot pie, and I was thrilled at how well it came out, particularly how much the filling stayed in! Nomnomnomnomnom. Almost makes me want breakfast already. Almost. I couldn't help but be reminded of Nanny's pies and cobblers and Mama's own chicken pot pies - all comfort food. It brought me back to Adams again, where I was suddenly back down to four feet tall.

I made a bundt cake, too, for J's birthday last Sunday. It turned out relatively well. It was a classic devil's food with cream cheese frosting. To be fair, the cake was from scratch but the icing wasn't. Still worked out, though. T had stopped by the store and gotten him a chocolate fudge cake, too, so we had plenty.of.cake. We've still got cake, about half of one and a couple pieces of the other.

Sunday night was pretty neat. Enjoyed the night with the folks that stopped by to spend time with us (the few pictures I took are already uploaded). I felt terrible for J, though, because he was just a couple days into antibiotics for an abscessed tooth which kept trying to wake up. He ended up having to take a couple of pain pills (hence why he looks like he's passed-out drunk). Note to self: next time J's tooth is hurting at a gathering, take pictures at the *beginning* of the night. Somehow he was able to stay conscious with all of us, and we had a good time.

J and I have been doing well as of late. With the exception of my irritation with WoW, he's been doing really well in keeping his balls in the air. I was sincerely hoping this job would have come through for him because if so, it would have been his shortest length of unemployment ever. Of course, I've mellowed out about a lot of the stupid shit, too. I'm trying to figure out if that's because of time, or if that's because I've been out of work since July and I've held more of the household responsibilities, gladly, because of it. Either way, I'm really thankful.

As of December 17, we will have had our marriage tats for exactly five years. On February 17, we will have been legally married for five years. March 27 will then mark the day we initially got together - six years previous. Almost six years now - it's incredible. We've had our share of crazy issues - a lot of them have been read about here - but I think we've finally found that place. That comfortable place - but the place that's not so comfortable that we forget to work to better ourselves.

With the exception of the fact that we're both unemployed and seriously scared shitless about that, things are going relatively well. I've got to do my best to remember that on the grey days when I wake up wondering why I haven't received more phone calls.

I went Thursday and prepped for my interview - I got my eyebrows waxed (I always look more intelligent with less bushy eyebrows) and got my hair cut. I kept the layered look and tried some long, whispy bangs so that I'd still have a bit of hair framing my face when I wear my hair back. I think I like it . . . I haven't had bangs since I was about 14, so it's a tad odd, and it will take some getting used to . . . but I think it's working for me.

Maybe this is enough idle rambling for now . . . if I think of more, I'll blog more later. After all, what else am I going to do at 8 a.m. on a Saturday?

She reappears!

Seriously, it's been a while. I can't believe that I posted a blog post-termination in July and haven't posted since. Hell, I really haven't communicated since.

To those of you that were confused, I apologize. I've been known to take a couple or few days and hibernate away from other humans for a period of time to "regroup", but it's never been known to last so long. The funny thing is that, once I started thinking about it, I realized that I've been off work for six weeks at most since I was sixteen, and that was when I moved to this city to go to school and my car was broken down.

Over ten years with no more than six weeks off between jobs, the average being about two weeks between places. Man.

So . . . I started thinking maybe I was due a vacation, and with the thought that I was due a vacation, well . . . I took it a bit overboard and truly ended up curled on the couch for weeks on end.

I seem to be coming more awake now. =)

I'm taking small steps and I'm getting better at answering phone calls and answering messages.

For a work update . . .

I'm trying to find an organization I can truly get behind and a place that I WANT to devote my time to. It will take some time, and if time runs out I'll have to grab whatever is available, but for now I'm trying to choose carefully. I'm tired of grinding myself down for places that don't appreciate me and don't offer any personal fulfillment, either. Meanwhile, I've got some great references and an awesome reference letter from ex-dude at my old office.

Anyhoo . . . hello again!

You know how stuff just sucks sometimes?

Sure you do! I'm feeling it today. I suppose the one good thing is that yesterday, when I went to work, I thought to myself, "Damn, I wish the weekend wasn't over!"

Be careful what you wish for, kiddies!

I was dumb as hell, doing my job as normal and having no idea what was going on. Then, about 2:30 in the afternoon, I got asked to join M in the conference room. I figured it was another meeting and wrapped up what I was doing, then went on in.

Well . . . turns out that after all their planning meetings last week, they have decided that the best course of action is to dissolve my position. That's right - dissolve my position. Just add water and watch it go "poof".

The man who never made any sales calls on time is now going to be in charge of all sales. They're not doing any marketing whatsoever for the rest of the year. Therefore, sales and marketing manager (or whatever the hell I was)? Pah - not needed! Position dissolved.

I got this information at 2:30 in the afternoon. They asked if I had any questions. I told them I didn't think so, and thanked them for the experience. Then, very unlike those two gentlemen, I didn't even get a handshake as we all stood around the table. Not even a handshake.

By 4:30 yesterday afternoon, my desk was cleared, I said goodbye to my pretty, pretty computer, and I walked out the door.

Well, all THAT stuff's the negative. Now for the positive.

- I got out while the gettin's good. If they're not planning on marketing at all, that place is about to go down like the Titanic. This one ain't on board. As a matter of fact, I got two weeks' severance plus my unused vacation time. That's a helluva lot more than people will get if they have to close their doors.
- I was getting restless anyway.
- I'm so damn loyal I may not have left if they didn't fire me . . .

So there are plenty of reasons here why this is a positive issue - but yes, I'll be locking myself in a hole for a bit. And if I'm not online (at least until we can get connected at home so I can job search in my underwear), this is why.

Wooooooot! Kinda.